


Jealousy Hurts

by Asexual_and_Indecisive



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:53:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asexual_and_Indecisive/pseuds/Asexual_and_Indecisive
Summary: Patton finds he has a crush on his roommate Logan and despite his best his best efforts, his hope only grows when Logan comes to Patton to ask about new feelings he's encountered over someone. Patton's hopes become dashed when he finds out who Logan was talking about, bringing home his new significant other after asking them out. Patton experiences an old feeling he absolutely despises. Jealousy. He ends up growing further and further apart from Logan as they both are seeing each other less, Logan either out studying or with his partner, and when he is around at their apartment he's either in his room or has invited his partner over and Patton has left to go see his closest friends. Logan notices but doesn't know what to do about it and Patton just wants to avoid all conversations on the topic. Will they make up or grow further apart?Ok so this is a really long summary but basically it's a jealousy fic and it's gonna get really close to a major character death but i don't want to spoil that. This is transferred over from my Wattpad, but yeah, Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. First off

(I'll use this intro for all of my stories, don't @me I'm lazy and all of my stories have the same or worse level of angst and it's still very important to hear about it.)

Hey! Thanks for clicking on the story! This is the first fanfic I've really done and "published" so please take this with a grain of salt.

Also, the plot is all over the place, so it's probably not gonna make any sense, but if you can make sense out of it then congratulations, you're living proof that i can actually think of a straightforward story about a ship I really like.

Anyway, this will have a lot of angst, like, an astounding amount, and for clearance, there is a lot of mentions of mental health issues, and I'm not trying to romanticize any of it, I use them to add more depth to the characters and make them more human like, considering they all represent specific parts of Thomas, meaning that they all are kind of one- dimensional, so I do this as a way to make them more human-like as I said. But things will probably get extreme in some chapters, so I will put a trigger warnings at the start of the chapters and I will put summaries at the end in bold text is it was important to the story.

And just fyi, I use creative writing as an outlet and i do suffer from anxiety and depression, I do get proper treatment for it, and you know the drill, if you're having any suicidal thoughts the US national suicide prevention hotline is: 1-800-273-8255

Alright, now that that's all done with, please enjoy the story and if you like it then please share and all of that. Thank you for reading all of this, if you stayed and read up to here, I really appreciate you! 

ANYWAY LET'S GET TO IT! HOPE YOU ENJOY!


	2. Questions and Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan introduces Patton to his new significant other, Patton is as supportive as he can be in his situation.

Patton was just laying on his bed in his room. He didn't really know what he was doing. He came to the conclusion that he was laying on his bed thinking and feeling extremely confused. What was he confused about? That in itself was complicated. He was confused but he was also mad at himself. He was mad at himself for not being able to control his crush on his roommate. He didn't know what changed, or if he had always felt this way.

Patton was started out of his thought by an knocking at his door. "Come in." He said in a monotone voice that sounded like someone else was speaking for him. Logan opened the door with an expression of a playfully worried friend.

Friend.

God did Patton come to be sour with that word. Not the word in general, he loved his friends of course! It would be really out of character not to! He just hated it when it applied to Logan. He didn't know if he wanted to be more than so or what at this point. "Is this a bad time?" Logan asked, snapping Patton out of his thoughts. Patton looked up to his Logan's face again, seeing the expression staying the same as before, with a bit more worry. "No! No, actually this is a great time. " He said semi-sarcastically. "Are you sure? You seem very unlike yourself at the moment." Logan said still standing in the doorway. "No it's fine." Patton sighed while sitting up. "What do ya need?" He said and smiled weakly up at Logan. Logan still looked a bit worried. Patton needed to clear up. "I mean it! Honestly! I just remembered something that put a dapper on my mood earlier today. What do you need?"Patton said with another weak smile while shrugging. "Alright then." Logan said "You can come in if you want" Patton added. Logan nodded "Very well." walking in and sitting down in Patton's desk chair. "I have some questions about... Feelings that I am experiencing...." Logan continued Patton nodded.

"Can you describe these feelings?" he asked a bit quickly. Logan glanced away for a second, Patton could have sworn he saw him blushing, but the action was so quick it could have been passed off as a trick of the light, but none the less weird. Logan almost never gets embarrassed, except on very rare occasions, like when pointed out to be wrong about something he felt so passionate about, but that's only really happened a few times, one almost ruining their relationship, but Patton didn't like recalling that thought. "Well... I assume that these feelings are caused by someone..." Logan started, looking up towards the wall with a faraway look in his eye. "They seem to make my heart speed up, and... When I talk to them I feel my face warm, and I feel like i want to be around them all the time..." Logan continued. Patton felt his heart jump up into his throat. Put it out. He's not talking about you, he has no reason to. You promised yourself that you wouldn't get your hopes up! He thought to himself quickly. "Also, when I happen to be in the vicinity, or the same room I seem to not be able to take my eyes off them..." Damn it... "Jesus, I really do sound ridiculous don't I!?" Logan sighed, seeming to deflate with it like he had been holding his breath, and looked back at Patton with a sad smile.

Patton shook his head and plastered. "No, not at all! It's completely natural for someone to feel that way!" Logan looked back up and met Patton's eyes. "Really?" Logan asked and Patton nodded slowly. "Of course! it happens all the time! It's called a "crush" and it's when you have a desire to be in a romantic relationship with someone but you have no idea if they'll reciprocate the feelings or not, and it gives you a crushing feeling." He explained. Logan narrowed his eyes at Patton. "was that a pun? You know my dislike for such wordplay." he said sighing. "No, actually. As much as you know I love making them, I didn't actually joke about this one." he said with a small giggle. "In fact, I think I have one myself." He muttered under his breath. "What was that, Patton?" Logan asked. "What? Oh, nothing." Patton laughed awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Very well." Logan said as he got up from the chair and walking over to the door. Patton felt so tempted to inquire about it but thought better, knowing that it would be quite rude and Logan absolutely despised people who were rude.

When Logan reached the door he turned around and looked at him and said "Thank you for your explanation, Patton. That was very insightful and I can now properly identify how I feel." He said, adjusting his glasses. He then turned on his heel and walked out, closing the door behind him. Patton let himself fall back onto the bed and sighed, already feeling the tears well up in his eyes. This would be eating at him for awhile, so he decided to at least tell someone about it. He grabbed out his phone and started to scroll through his contacts to find the best person to talk to about this.

Janus? No, he'll just tell him to push the person down the stairs like he always does when someone comes to him for help about a person.

Remus? Definitely not. He'll just do the exact same thing as Janus but more sinister.

Virgil? They did become good friends after Logan introduced them but and he'll probably know something about it but he and Logan are very close, and he'll break under peer pressure and tell Logan if he asks.

Thomas? He's a bit more trustworthy than Virgil but they haven't really talked lately and kind of drifted apart after a period of talking to each other non-stop.

Roman? They are best friends, and they never see each other in person since he's been on a 3- month long trip to Europe. Bingo.


	3. Friends & Schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton asks for help from a good friend about what to do

( _Patton_ **Roman** )

_Hey Roman!_

**Hey there Pat!**

_How's the trip going?_

**Great! We just landed in London yesterday! It's absolutely gorgeous! I just wish you came with.**

_Awwwww thanks Ro! You know I would! but I had to finish off my courses for the year!_

**True, but nvm, apart from how hard it is not to, is there any reason why you texted me?**

_Oh yeah! Um, I need some advice._

**Alright, shoot.**

_You already know about my crush on Logan..._

**Yesss**

_Well today he asked me about feelings he was having and he apparently has a crush on someone..._

**OoOOOOOoOoooooo**

_Please be mature Roman._

**Fiiiinnnnneeeeee**

_Thank you, anyway, he asked about it and I told him, but I heavily doubt it was me..._

**Are you sure?**

_Not 100% but I have a feeling._

**Can't argue with that, and you normally do have a good sense about these things**

_Thank you! There's someone at the door, gotta go!_

**Alright, ttyl?**

_Yep!_

Patton put his phone down on his bed and got up, wiping off the excess tears and put on his glasses. He then walked outside to see a person in a leather jacket with sunglasses and a Starbucks up standing there talking to Logan. Logan looked over to Patton when he heard the door open. "Oh, Patton! Adequate timing! I was just about to get you. This is my friend Remy." He said, making a vague gesture to the person next to him with his hands. Remy did a small two fingered salute. "Remy, Patton" he said, now gesturing to Patton. Patton did a small nod and looked back at Logan and said "I was actually gonna come out here to talk to you really quick." Patton said plastering a fake smile on his face. "Alright then" he said and walked over to the kitchen after telling Remy to have a seat on the couch.

"So is that the person?" Patton asked. "What are you inquiring about?" Logan replied. "The one you have a crush on." "Oh, yes this is the person." Patton nodded as he felt the tears prick his eyes and he smiled. "So you asked him out and he said yes?" Logan nodded. "That's great! Well then, I wish you the best of luck with this!" Patton said nodding. "Thank you, Patton. Now, I shall go and I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing." He said turning and walking out of the kitchen before Patton could say anything else.

Patton sighed, feeling the tears coming on quickly. He rushed back to his room before they could really fall. He sighed feeling the tears coming with it. He walked over to his bed and sat down, grabbing his phone and texting Roman, filling him in on what just happened. He put his phone down before he could see what he was going to say next. He couldn't muster up the strength to talk to anyone right now, Physically or over text. He grabbed one of his stuffed animals and laid down on his side and took off his glasses.

He had many problems that he realized but didn't treat or tell anyone, he knew that he needed a therapist, but he didn't want to bother someone with telling them his thoughts and feelings, he just needed to be there for people. But this time he was touch starved, that was another part of it. Logan was never to keen on physical affection and whenever someone hugged him, he got very uncomfortable, from what Patton could tell, and that didn't mix well with the fact that he got touch starved, but Logan didn't know that. He just had to suffer in silence. He cried for a bit before drifting off into sleep.

He woke up very groggily, and rubbed his eyes. He didn't bother grabbing his glasses, and got up, going over to his dresser and pulled off his cardigan and shirt, and threw discarded them somewhere on the floor. He looked through the drawer of shirts until he found the sweater he was looking for. The sweater he had cherished the most and only brought out when he needed emotional comfort. It was a sweater that Virgil had gotten him the first Christmas they had known each other. The main body of the garment was light blue with pastel pink trimmings.

He slid the sweater over his head, pulling his arms through as well. After pulling it on completely, he pulled the neck of the sweater up over his nose, breathing in the light smell of honeysuckle. Honeysuckle had always brought him comfort, and Virgil knew this, he was the only one who had, he even bought Patton a small bottle of honeysuckle essential oil for it, and gave it to him along with the sweater. He sighed a small sigh of contentment, almost completely forgetting about the situation with Logan. He took off his pants only to replace them with his favorite sleep pants, the one with multiple dog- related puns printed on. He had found these at a thrift- store one time while clothes shopping, wanting to go and get new clothes, but Logan had him go to the local thrift- store instead, insisting that it would be better for the environment and for the budget.

Patton walked over to the door and opened it to see the front room now dark. Oh crap! he thought as he looked over at his clock on the shelf. 2:54 A.M. wow, guess I slept longer than I thought I would. He mused as he walked out and over to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard, closing it then going over to the fridge. He went to go get ice, only to get greeted by way more ice then he needed. Oh yeah, the freezer either doesn't work at all and only gives you a loud sound, or works to well and makes ice go everywhere. Either outcome is unlucky in a situation like this. he bent down, picking them up and bringing them over to the sink and dumping them in. He sighed and picked his glass back up, taking out some of the ice and dropping it into the sink. He walked back over to the fridge to fill it up with water. Once that was done he turned to leave, looking up.

"Patton?"


	4. Kitchen Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan inquires Patton about as to why he would be up at such an hour.

Patton turned to leave, looking up from his glass.

"Patton?" a fatigued voice sounded from in front of him. He looked up to see, not an unwelcome face, but one he'd rather not see right now...

Patton had always thought Logan looked cute with untamed hair, always liked seeing him a bit all over the place. It always seemed much more natural to see him like this rather than his normal state of being emotionless and "acting like he's a robot" Roman had once told Patton shortly after meeting Logan for the first time. Patton had to agree with him, even if he felt bad immediately after saying so, he had to agree that the similarities are very present. But he now felt bad about even thinking of Logan as "Cute" and such, seeing as he now has a boyfriend apparently. 

It wasn't his place to think about him like that to begin with but now he felt guilty for thinking so as he saw the one thing that he finds the cutest that no one knows about. Not even Roman or Virgil, and he would reveal that information under any circumstances. He quickly rid his mind of any of those thoughts as soon as they came, and scolded himself for thinking of such things when Logan already has a significant other. "Yeah, Lo..-gan?" Patton said, quickly correcting himself instead use the nickname that he had used so much it had become second nature for him.

This apparently didn't go unnoticed by the man, as Patton saw a look of surprise and something else, but the expression vanished as soon as it came, leaving Patton to wonder. "Would you mind telling me why you're up at such an hour?" Logan inquired the smaller of the two. "And also, if you don't mind me asking, but also why had not come to get your portion of the supper when it was served?". Patton sighed, of course Logan would ask about something like this, seeing as he would either have to put his portion in a container for later, or throw it out, and Logan didn't like either option.

"Oh, yeah, I laid down right before suppertime, and while reading something on my phone, I guess I accidentally dosed off." Patton said softly, so as not to disturb the calmness in the air despite the feeling of tension that hung in the air above the two. "I see. Anyway, I hope that you will be done here soon?" Logan said, more so than asked. "I'm only going to find something small to eat and then go off to bed." Patton said, feeling a tight smile make it's way onto his face, without intention. "I wouldn't advise that." Logan said, his tone sharper than his previous inquiry. "Oh, it's fine" Patton said, waiving one of his hands in a small dismissive gesture, while the other pulled out some Tupperware full of spaghetti they had earlier that week, from the fridge. "I always get sleepy after eating something" Patton continued while closing the fridge and going over to a cabinet full of a variety of dishes. He opened the door of the cabinet as he opened the door he heard Logan say "Patton, those are the cups and mugs." while sighing. "Oh yeah." Patton said as he had remembered grabbing a cup from the very same cabinet just a few minutes ago. He closed the door and turned to open the correct one, only to see that Logan was now standing in front of him, blocking him from opening the cabinet. "Excuse me" Patton said lightly, going around Logan to get to the cabinet, when Logan turned around and put his hand against the cabinet to keep it closed. 

"Patton, it is very unadvised to eat at this hour, please go put that back and go to bed." Logan said sternly, as if it was a warning a parent might give to a child. Patton went stiff as soon as Logan had started to talk in that tone of voice. This was caused by the fact that his parents had been very verbally abusive towards him, and used that exact tone of voice, telling him that he had done something wrong, and yelling always came after. Logan had noticed this change in demeanor, letting his stern expression drop momentarily, and then be replaced by the same expression just as Patton started speaking again. "Yes, sir..." he said, looking down and going back over to the fridge and putting it back in the place it had been before. Logan inwardly cursed himself for doing so, knowing full well about Patton's parents' mannerisms and always using that specific tone of voice. Patton had closed the fridge door by now and gone back over to his glass and taking a drink from it and then going to pour it out in the sink. He then put it into the sink and turned to the door, finally saying "Goodnight, Logan." His voice breaking very slightly towards the end of it, and walked out of the kitchen and back to his room.

Logan was left standing there only to wonder worriedly about what he had just caused, and sighed to himself. He walked back to his own room, turning off the kitchen light as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter seems a bit boring just because it was explaining every single action, I'm so sorry, i wrote this at 2:43 A.M. and I'm just to lazy to go back and fix it because I needed to get this chapter out there and such. But thanks. Bye!


	5. Errands and Fatigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Patton go about their daily routine and Patton meets someone new.

Patton didn't get any sleep that night. He stayed up crying, no reason in particular, but most would guess it's probably just a lot of emotions built up with no release. Logan got up at 6:30, as per usual, and got on with his morning routine. He had a very strict schedule in the morning: 

6:00- Get up

6:02- Shower

6:10- Finish shower and get dressed

6:12- Make breakfast

6:15- Eat

6:23- Finnish Eating

6:25- Brush teeth

6:27- Get things together

6:30- Out the door

Now most people (Roman and Virgil) Would say that the schedule was absolutely stupid, and couldn't imagine anyone having that kind of a schedule willingly, but as the man himself put it every time: "I'm simply being efficient. I get what I need don efficiently and quickly. There is no time for procrastination in the morning." It was also in good practice for Logan to leave Patton a note on the counter every morning when he left if Patton wasn't up yet. The information on these notes included where Logan was going to be for the day, what he would be doing, what chores needed to be done and what items they needed Patton to get from the grocery store.

Patton's was always the same but different. He always got up later then intended, or before he intende c, or he did both of these in which case he'd get up to early, go back to sleep and then wake up to late. Some days, he and Logan had plans together, where Logan would wake him up and wait for him by the door, but every morning, Patton would have just as much pep as ever.

They worked this system after one day, when Patton had gotten up exceptionally late, and panicked after not knowing where Logan was. Logan came home from his school that day to find Roman and Virgil trying to calm down a hysterical looking Patton right as he walked in, so they made The Situation. It's not as serious as it sounds, it's just Logan goes off to do his classes and makes sure to tell Patton, and makes sure Patton has something to do. Patton didn't mind cleaning or doing errands. He always thought of himself like a "stay-at-home dad" kind of person, but he would be open to other options if the opportunity came up. 

When they were trying to build up enough money to move out, Logan had to work a job all while writing his admission papers and trying to finish all the steps to be able to get into the college. Patton didn't know the details, but knowing Logan he new better than to pry, but at least Logan did well enough in school to get a scholarship to a good collage so he didn't have to work for that, but since he came from a low income household, his parents couldn't risk trying to help him pay rent for an apartment in the middle of a city. In short: It want NOT cheap to live in the city.

Patton helped since he was also going to live there, off Logan's request, Patton helped to pay for the first few months of rent by taking a few jobs as a baby-sitter, a house keeper, and a dog walker. All things he enjoyed, and they were all so similar that he had a few customers who payed handsomely for a few different jobs of his and he was able to pay for half of the rent and then some. Logan showed way more emotion than Patton had ever seen him show in the amount of time that they had known him. He ended crying on Patton's shoulder, saying that he wouldn't have ever been able to reach his goal if it wasn't for Patton's help.

So Patton always tried to do babysitting and house sitting whenever he could so he could support them and while Logan went to his classes, and putting extra money into a savings account for him to be able to go to college and become a special ed teacher. He knew that the job didn't pay well enough for some people but he just liked the thought of being able to help challenged kids with learning and get the help that he didn't get when he was younger. Patton refused to tell anyone about his condition, but he did have some disorders that made it extremely hard for him to learn properly, so he wants to at least try to help other kids through it and give them tips about what helped him. But for now this is what he had to stick with.

Most of the parents in the apartment building were extremely grateful for him being there to watch their kids instead of having them go to one of the extremely overpriced daycare-centers that were in the area, and have a local one with fair rates. He knew many of the kids in the building and what days the parents needed him to watch their kids. He also tried to always keep a flexible schedule during the week so he could make as much income as he could.

But on days like today he only had to go get groceries and do a few chores around the house, so he got out of bed around 6:45 when he knew that Logan was gone and he wouldn't bump into him in this state. He got dressed and went to the bathroom to make himself look presentable. After standing in front of the mirror for a few minutes he grabbed a washcloth and washed his face until the tearstains were gone. He looked back up at himself and smiled a bit. At least I look good enough for myself he thought sadly. 

He walked out of the bathroom to look at the list and took quick note of what to do and started to get to work on the chores. He started with putting away the dishes and reloading the dishwasher and cleaning the apartment. When he was done with that, he grabbed his keys and wallet and walked out the door, making sure he locked the door and then turned and walked down the hall and down the stairs to his car. He drove to the grocery store and quickly got everything he needed and some things to make dinner that night. He walked out of the store after paying for his items and got to the car, setting the things down in the back seat, and getting into the driver's seat once again. 

He sighed and rested his forehead on the steering wheel for a minute. He felt bad, not sleeping for an entire night. He decided to go get coffee, considering the fact that they still didn't have a coffee maker yet so he went to the nearest coffee shop that wasn't a Starbucks. He was to tired to take account of the name and entered the shop rather quickly, and ended up walking right into the person that was at the end of a rather long line. He was shocked right away and stepped back right away. "Oh! Sorry about that, I didn't see there!" Patton said quickly with an apologetic smile. "Oh no, it's fine, I should at least expect it to happen standing here right in front of the door!" The person said with a polite smile. They had a pair of slightly brownish-red glasses on their face, a tan sweater with a while polo underneath, and light pink tie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This is longer than last time! Sorry if this was wordy. I tried to do my best with explaining things. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and I'm not going to promise you because I most likely not going to go through soon enough. But yeah. Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	6. A New Friend

"Oh no, it's fine, I should at least expect it to happen standing here right in front of the door!" The person said politely. Patton smiled and held out his hand. "Hi! I'm Patton Sanders, he/him pronouns." He said, introducing himself. "Emile Picani, he/him pronouns as well." The stranger said, shaking Patton's hand. "Do you how do?". Patton was confused for a moment but then smiled again. "I'm well! And you?" He said with a little bit of a chuckle as they both let go of each other's hands. Emile's smile became even larger at this. "Finally! Someone who knows what I mean when I say that!" He said in an exited voice as he bounced a small bit on his feet. Patton smiled back, "Well it's nice to know that at least I didn't mess up on the meaning of it!" Patton laughed a bit. Emile nodded, "Yeah, people sometimes get confused when I say it." Patton nodded back, "I get what you mean. Sometimes I'll try to explain something to my roommate and he'll get really confused because I say things in a weird way."

Emile nodded again, "Yeah, I 'came up' with it when I was going to say 'how do you do' to one of my friends and I had accidentally tripped up on my words and said 'do you how do' instead. I thought it was kinda funny so I kept saying it and then it became a habit." Emile looked behind himself after a minute. "Oh! Looks like we're at the front of the line!" Emile said quietly with a little bit of a surprised tone. He turned around and walked a few steps until he was at the counter. "I'll just have a Caramel Macchiato please." Emile smiled politely at the barista. "And you?" the person behind the counter said, pointing their pen at Patton. "Huh? Oh! I'll have..." He thought for a moment longer, "A Hazelnut Cream coffee with extra whipped cream please!" Patton continued. "Alright, will that be cash or card?" Patton opened his mouth to say that they he would pay for himself when his thoughts were cut off by Emile saying "Card."

Patton looked up at him with a surprised look on his face. "Huh?" The barista gave a small huff of amusement at Patton's reaction as they tapped at the tablet in front of them. "Name for the order?" they said with a smile. "Oh, Emile." he said as they typed that into the tablet. Emile took his card out of his wallet and put in the little machine when it beeped at him for the card. He pulled it out when it beeped at him again and put the card back in his wallet. "Alright, those should be about 5-10 minutes." the barista said with a smile. Emile and Patton both nodded and then walked over to a small table with two chairs near the back of the small coffee shop.

Patton stared down at the floor that seemed to be made of wood, and noticed all the small splinters and such in the small cracks between floor boards, when he realized the awkwardness of this situation. He looked up to Emile to find him looking out the window with his head leaning on his hand the late morning light refracting off his glasses just perfectly, and highlighting his hair and features in a way that flattered him very well.

Emile had similar hair to Logan's in both the color and the way he styled it, the only differences being that Emile's looked a bit tousled than Logan's clean cut, as if he combed his hand's through it often. He also saw some other similarities to Logan in Emile, but nothing huge. As he thought about it, he found more similarities between Emile and himself than he did Logan and Emile. He looked back down at the floor when he realized he had been staring, and felt his neck grow warm. He stared at the floor for a moment more while thinking of something to say to make the situation less tense (for him at least because apparently Emile was oblivious to everything around him at the moment).

"Thank you, Emile. You really didn't have to do that but thank you." He said as he looked up at Emile for a reaction. "Huh?" Emile blinked and shook his head slightly, looking as if he was just woken up from a daydream (which Patton had to admit, that the reaction was pretty adorable). Emile turned toward Patton and said "Sorry, I zoned out there for a bit, did you say something?" Patton chuckled at the curious expression on Emile's face and said "What I was saying was You really didn't have to pay for my drink but thank you." He smiled. Emile nodded. "Of course! It wasn't any problem-" 4

He was interrupted by a barista calling out "Amy?" they looked around. "Is there anyone named Amy who ordered a Caramel Macchiato and coffee with Hazelnut creamer and extra whipped cream?" Emile stood up. "Yes! Those are ours! It's actually Emile." He said grabbing the two drinks as Patton walked over to them. Emile handed Patton his drink while Emile looked at his watch while taking a sip from his own drink.

"Oh dear!" he exclaimed. "I have to get back to work, but here's my number so we can talk and maybe see each other again." He said quickly as he grabbed one of the pens from the small cup in front of the register and hastily wrote his number down on a napkin and handed it to a somewhat overwhelmed Patton. "Talk to you later!" Emile waved as he rushed out the door and to his car. Patton waved back feebly and decided that he should probably leave as well so that the groceries don't spoil before he gets back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! So I had about half of this story written and was almost ready to publish it, but still a little half baked, and this time I'm not making any promises but I am going to try my best to update it more often and keep this a consistent story. But normally it'll probably seem like I'm taking a hiatus but it's just procrastination and if sometime down the line I do need to take a hiatus from this then I'll be sure to update you guys about it.


	7. Unrecognized Effort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton tries to get on good terms with Logan's boyfriend but to no avail.

**_TW: CURSING, HOMOPHOBIC SLUR_ **

Patton struggled to open the door to the apartment building, but after shifting the bags a little he was able to open the door and walk in before one of the bags almost fell out of his arms, which he quickly caught before it fell to the ground. He breathed a sigh of relief before walking over to the elevator and pressing the button to go up. After waiting a few minutes the elevator dinged and opened the doors and Patton waited while someone else walked out and he stepped in to the elevator. He clicked number 3 and stood back and waited till he heard a ding and the doors closing. He felt the elevator start to go up and felt the elevator rock a bit as it went.  
  
He heard another ding a few moments later and stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall till he arrived at Logan and his' apartment. He moved all the bags to one of his hands and with the other he fished out his keys from his pocket and opened the door and shuffled over to the small kitchen and put the groceries on the counter and started unpacking them and putting them away.   
  
As he put them away he thought to himself. 'I wonder if Logan's boyfriend is going to come over again tonight? Maybe.. What's his name again? Emmy? Ray? Something like that.. If he is then I should at least try and make a good dinner to make some sort of good impression.' He thought as he made a mental note to start preparing that a few hours in advance so it would be ready when Logan got back from his classes.

Patton finished by putting the eggs in the fridge. He checked around the apartment to see if there was anything he should clean but didn't find anything. He walked over to his room and opened it to see some clothes and bags and shoes scattered around his room but didn't really feel like picking them up at the moment and walked over to his unmade bed and sit down, resting his back against the pillows at the head of the bed. He grabbed his laptop and opened it up to YouTube. 

He watched whatever interested him on his recommended page. He felt neutral. Or rather nothing at all. It didn't bother him and he didn't really care. He gaze shifted over to the clock in the corner of his screen and saw that he should probably get to starting the food. He continued watching the video for a few more minutes before loosing interest and pausing and putting the computer down next to him on his bed. He sat up and stretched before getting up and walking over to the door, opening that and walking over to the kitchen. 

He got out the materials and started preparing the food. After about 20 minutes, the stir fry was ready and sitting out on the counter ready to be served. He got out a couple plates and set them near the pan and waited for a few minutes before grabbing his phone and deciding to scroll through whatever popped up on his social media. After a few minutes he heard a loud but muffled voice outside the door to the apartment. Then he heard the door open and the voice was now clear.

"And then the dude she was with had the nerve to say 'This is the problem with faggots, can't take a fucking joke'" Patton flinched at the the slur. "And I was having none of it so I fucking popped off on that dick and his hoe." Said the loud voice from the small front hall. "Sounds like you put him in his place." came Logan's monotone voice from the hall as well along with the sound of the door closing. Logan and his boyfriend that Patton hadn't quite remembered the name of yet came into view a moment later. 

"Hiya! I made some stir-fry for us tonight!" Patton quickly chirped. He smiled at them as his eyes fell onto a domino's pizza box and his smile quickly fell. "oh..." he said in realization. "I appreciate the thought Patton, but I thought I told you I was getting pizza on the way home?" Logan said. "Oh nah babe, you sent that to me. That's why I said I was going to meet you there." His boyfriend said showing him his phone, switched to what Patton assumed was the text. 

"Oh, my apologies then, Patton said with a wave as he walked to his room and his boyfriend following. "Oh..." Patton said weakly. He grabbed some tupperwear from one of the cabinets and sloppily put it into the container and closed the lid. He grabbed the small plastic tub and put it into the fridge and frowned at all the containers that were taking up space in the fridge. He sighed again and closed the door to the fridge. He turned to the counter and wiped it down, putting the pan into the sink and leaving it for him to clean later. He walked over to the pizza box and looked down at the pizza with a couple of slices taken out of the pie. He grabbed a couple of slices and just walked back to his room, not caring if he got grease on himself or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, here's another chapter. It's shorter than the others by about 100 words, and I could write some more but I didn't really feel like it and it's 1:27 am rn and I'm just gonna go to bed. Cya.


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